I haven't worked out nor have I been counting calories. I have a work event to go to and I cant fit anything. I hate having to shop at plus size stores. All of the clothes look awful and they aren't stylish. I am so disgusted with myself. am I so disgusted with myself that I will finally get back on track? I don't know. I hate having to fight with myself over food. I have lost all self control.

I last weighed myself on 03/16/2012 and I have not eaten right since. I have not been counting calories and I have been eating everything in sight, including eating out. I don't know why this is such a struggle for me. I feel like I will never get down to a resonable weight.

I didn't eat what I was supposed to this weekend. Weekends are hard for me and I need to work on this. Today is a new day and I plan on getting back on track.

I have missed this blog.I had forgotten my log in informational and started a whole new blog. I think I will post to this blog and not my new one from now on. I am still fighting my battle with obesity. I last weighed myself a week ago and i was 267. I have had to put the scale out of my reach which has been a good thing and a bad thing. It's good because I am not constantly weighing myself.it's bad because I am not holding myself accountable if I over eat. I worked out this morning for 30 minutes and I NEVER work out on the weekends. I haven't been counting my calories this past week and I am hopeful that when I weigh myself next month, the number will be lower than 267. I am hopeful that it wont be higher an it wont be the same. So far, I have stayed within my calories for the day. It's still a struggle and I'm taking it one day at a time.

I'm retaining a little bit of water and according to the scale I am 259.5. I know that I haven't been exercising and eating pretty much everything but a gain of 17.5 pounds in 7 days blows me away. The pants I am wearing today are majorly tight. I am feeling so uncomfortable physically. I feel like this is never ending. Lose, gain, lose, gain. Over and over. I have no idea where my will power and dedication to getting healthy. Clearly I have no control over my eating. i'm starting with small steps again. The first thing I need to do is count my calories for the day. I need to be able to see what I am eating and hold myself accountable for it. I feel super bloated and huge. At 260 I should be feeling huge. I worked out this morning. Not a full on workout but I did get moving. I need to start somewhere.

242.5 blah.

I have had a bad weekend emotionally and I was eating my pain. I am pulling myself together mentally and physically.