Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Angry
I hate my daughter's father. He does whatever he can to make my life miserable and at the same time doing as little as he can to be a father. He makes me drive 2 hours out of my way just to pick up $50.00. He refuses to mail me any money and he will not put the money on a pre paid credit card. He purposely makes me come hours out of my way just to inconvienience me, on the rare occasion he decides to help me. He spends zero time with my daughter. I mean he sees her for a total of like 10 minutes once a year. Child support? forget it. I don't even know what that is. I have been a single mother from the moment I found out I was pregnant and it still does not get any easier. I am trying not to hold onto anger towards him but it is so hard. I keep my cool with him no matter what. I am always cordial ( and he is always extremly rude to me ) . I don't badmouth him to my daughter , even tho I could make her hate him if I told her all that he refuses to do for her. I try to take the high road but he makes it so very hard. He is a drain on my spirit and I am upset with myself that I let him affect my mood.
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The best thing is to try to camouflage the way he makes you feel. If he can't see the affect he has perhaps he wouldn't do it anymore but then I get the feeling he is very devious and knows that he has you where he wants you. It's so so wrong for him to use his daughter like this to get to you, so that you have to go out of your way, and that you have to go to him at all. He should be responsible and capable enough to make his own payments, and arrange his own access. Do you think your daughter would be better off without him? If he's not giving her anything (his time, his financial support, his love) then would she not be better off without a role model like that in her life? There's always a risk she'll grow up thinking that all men are that inconsistent.
ReplyDeleteDon't be upset lovely; you are the better person, and he who is out of order. He doesn't deserve you or your daughter, I just wish he could realise it.
Thank you melodicsphinx : )
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