Monday, December 28, 2009

Back on the Wagon

I have been off the wagon since Thanksgiving. I ate out of control for the last month and I am paying for it. I was down 38 pounds right before Christmas putting my weight at 249 and over the Christmas holiday I gained 12 pounds. That puts my current weight at 261. I know that a very small part is water and bloat but a majority is fat. I'm tired of doing this to myself. So here I am once again starting over. I keep gaining and losing the same 10-12 pounds. 249 was my lowest and I was so proud of myself. So I am back to eating right and back to exercising. I hope that I can stick to my routine and stop the up and down with my weight. I'm not going to beat myself up but I am going to buckle down and get this weight off once and for all.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Taking a break

I'm taking a break from this blog. I have a lot going on in my life personally. Hopefully I won't be gone too long.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Thank You

There are days when I feel overwhelmed at the task ahead of me. Losing over 100 pounds will not be easy. It was certainly easy to put the weight on but I am finding out that it will be hard to reverse the damage and to take it all off. It is so easy to eat the wrong food and simply not exercise. I am amazed at how much support I have received from the blogging community. There are so many people who are going through the same thing I am . I felt at one point in time that there was no one else who knew what I was going through but there are so many people who struggle with the same issues. I feel good knowing that I am not alone in this fight. I want to give a big thank you to the folks who leave comments ( because they really are a pick me up : ) and a thank you to folks who blogs about the same struggle I have. You all inspire me to keep going.
The past two weeks I have not worked out, counted calories nor have I been eating healthy. I don't know how much weight I have gained. I have disabled my scale and won't weigh in again until January. I haven't figured out why I keep doing this to myself. Today I have rededicated myself ( again ) to weight loss. My goal for the day is 1400 calories and at least 2 liters of water.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

2 pounds

I am 2 pounds up at 261.8. I hope it's water but it's probably fat. I ate bad on Friday, Saturday , and Sunday. I didn't count calories and I had some cake. A lot of cake. I don't know why the weekends are so hard for me but I am back to eating healthy and I am so tired of eating healthy and working out just to gain weight. I feel like I am saboting ,yself and I need to stop .

Thursday, October 29, 2009

I miss my knees.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

I broke down and weighed myself this morning. 265. I felt like I should have lost way more than that. I'm going to do a 3 mile workout this evening . I did a 3 mile this morning so I'm hoping that the working out twice a day will kick start more fat loss.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Blood Test and Water Weight

I had to go to the lab yesterday for a Glucose tolerance test and a Glucose fasting test. I had to fast 12 hours prior to the test and once I got to the lab I had to drink a sugar solution. It was like drinking super sweetened soda syrup without any water or carbonation added. Nasty.Well I got my results back and my fasting blood sugar went from 111, which is pre diabetic . It was 81 yesterday which is in the normal range. My blood levels for the tolerance and Potassium were normal as well. I really feel like I am working towards something. I am so happy.


I have a prescription for diuretics . I don;t have high blood pressure but I have a desk job and my feet swell from sitting down all day. I had stopped taking the water pills for like a week. So my feet started to swell and I took one of the pills. During that couple of days I was exercising and eating really really healthy. So I weighed myself and that 5 pounds was back, but this time I know that it was all water. It is amazing that I was holding 5 extra pounds of fluid. I am working hard to watch my sodium content .


I went to a website that shows how much water a person should drink a day. According to this website I should be drinking 125 ounces which is like 4 liters of water. Man that seems impossible to do . I drank 3 liters on Friday and by Saturday morining all of my edema was gone. That tells me that I really do need that 125 ounces. So now I am trying to work in all that extra fluid.

Monday, October 19, 2009

My First Award !!!!!

I was over at Someday SkinnyMinnie's blog and she nominated me for an award ( sniff sniff, thanks Skinny Minnie) . I am so excited. I have never been nominated for a blog award. I have a personal blog but I hardly ever update it and apparently my life is so boring no one reads it either. Here are the rules :

Here are the rules
1. Thank the person who nominated you. - Thank you thank you thank you Someday SkinnyMinnie!
2. Copy the award and place it on my blog.Sorry I don't' know how to copy the link or the award :(
3. Link to the person who nominated me. Please see above.
4. Name 6 things people might find interesting. Please see below.
5. Nominate 7 bloggers. I only have 5 followers and one of them is myself, but I will list them at the end of this post
6. Post links to the bloggers I nominate- Plz see number 2.

Here are six things about me
I can't sleep if the closet door is open in my bedroom

When I go into the bathroom at night, I always check the shower

I am terrible when it comes to computers. That is why I can't link to anything. I couldn't even figure out how to post the blog award photo

My sister is almost 2 years older than me but everyone thinks I'm the oldest cause I act a little mature for my age

I can't sleep unless I am sleeping on 2 pillows

I can pick objects up with my feet. My toes are really long. Almost like fingers.

Ok I nominate the following bloggers:

Someday Skinny Minnie @
thew8losschick @
Simonetta @
Discovering me who doesn't seem to have a blog.

Water Weight

I weighed myself this morning and the scale said 265. When I last weighed myself on 10-15-2009 I had gained five pounds. So as of today my total loss is back at 22 pounds. I am wondering of that 22 pounds is all water weight? I know that some is water weight but I hope not all of it.


When I first started to exercise and clean up my eating habits, I purchased a stationary bike. I used to ride it every night and now I havent been on that bike in weeks. It is just so boring. I try to watch tv and ride. I even read books while I am on it and it is just so boring to me. Sunday was the only day that I didn't work out . I am doing a one mile walk and I am trying to work my way up to 2 miles. I think I need to kick the cardio into overdrive. I may even get on that bike tonight.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

How To Gain Five Pounds In A Week

How to gain 5 pounds in one week !!!!
  • Stop exercising
  • Don't drink enough water
  • Take 4 days off work and laze around and do nothing
  • Eat the following tasty but oh so bad food items:
  • Tacos stuffed with sharp cheddar cheese
  • Pizza made with mounds of cheese and pepperoni
  • Have a pot luck at work and eat copious amounts of Olive Garden bread sticks
  • Corn dogs from Weinerschniztel
  • Huge amounts of yummy cake bites( man those things are addictive)
  • Eat dry sugary sweetened cereal by the handfuls
  • Stop counting calories cause when I don't count the m I eat everything in sight
  • Snack uncontrollably
  • Jalapeno cheese poppers from church's chicken( can you tell that I love cheese , yum)
  • eat Rice snacks which are good for you but not when you eat half a bag at a time
  • become delusional about what you have really consumed and tell yourself " oh it a just a little bit, it wont add up to much ) well it does add up . as a matter of fact it adds up to 5 pounds.

That my friends is how you gain 5 pounds in one week. I will not be repeating this mistake. I wasn't going to weigh myself but I had to know how many pounds I put on from the 22 that I had lost. My next goal will be to lose 25 pounds by my birthday next month. If I can't achieve 20 , I need to lose at least 5 that I put back on . I noticed a difference in how I felt when I wasn't exercising. I was not sleeping as well and it takes me longer to get back into the rhythm of exercising when I stop. My body feels bad when I am not doing the right things. So hopefully that will keep me motivated to do well.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Randon Rambling

I used t0 be a total sugar head. I loved any and everything sweet. Cakes, cookies, pies, yum . When I found out being pre diabetic I knew that I had to drastically cut down on sugar. I try not to have processed and refined sugar. I didn't miss sweets at first . I totally craved carbs. Pasta, bread, rice. I love, love , love rice and bread. So I figured since I wasn't craving sweets just carbs it would be okay for me to bake something( cause I love to bake just as much as I love sweets) . I make cake balls but I cut them using a star cookie cutter and called them cake bites. You bake a cake, crumble it all up, mix it with frosting, shape into little balls and then dip it in candy melts.

Well I baked a funfetti cake and used vanilla frosting and I got the white candy melts. I figured the candy melts would be gross and not taste like white chocolate , well I was wrong. They were absolutely delicious and the candy melts just added to the sweet sugary goodness. I ate 6 of them today . I don't even want to know the amount of sugar and carbs in them.

On a good note, I am not raving carbs so much anymore. One thing I eat when I am craving carbs is Quaker Quakes rice snacks. It's not the same as eating Chee-tos( yum, Chee-tos) but it satisfies me.


I hate the Twilight books . I read the first one and thought it was poorly written. I saw New Moon at Sam's Club( my second favorite store by the way) and got it for my daughter. I tried to read it and could not get past the first chapter. I think that the audience is 13-17 year old girls and not 34 year old women so that is probably why I don;t like it. Well I saw the preview of the movie New Moon and I kinda want to see it. There I said it now you all know my secret shame.

Am I the only person who reads the end of the book first? I will read the ending even if I don't
know who the characters are or anything. It doesn't spoil the excitement for me when I finally get to the end and I already know what will happen.

Ugh- A bad week.

This has been a really bad week for me. I have been eating like crazy and hardly exercising at all. I have been so off track . It is time for me to buckle down and get myself together. I haven't weighed myself because I know that I have probably gained at least 10 of the 22 pounds that I have lost. I'm not going to weigh myself again for another month . I feel like all my hard work has been for nothing . I am going to rededicate myself to getting healthy and taking this weight off.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009


I hate my daughter's father. He does whatever he can to make my life miserable and at the same time doing as little as he can to be a father. He makes me drive 2 hours out of my way just to pick up $50.00. He refuses to mail me any money and he will not put the money on a pre paid credit card. He purposely makes me come hours out of my way just to inconvienience me, on the rare occasion he decides to help me. He spends zero time with my daughter. I mean he sees her for a total of like 10 minutes once a year. Child support? forget it. I don't even know what that is. I have been a single mother from the moment I found out I was pregnant and it still does not get any easier. I am trying not to hold onto anger towards him but it is so hard. I keep my cool with him no matter what. I am always cordial ( and he is always extremly rude to me ) . I don't badmouth him to my daughter , even tho I could make her hate him if I told her all that he refuses to do for her. I try to take the high road but he makes it so very hard. He is a drain on my spirit and I am upset with myself that I let him affect my mood.

Monday, September 28, 2009

House Hunting

I was unsuccessful in buying a home last year do to various reasons. This year I am trying again . I want to do now it so I can qualify for the 2009 first time home buyer tax credit . I can't believe how fierce the competition is out here. I have put in offers on homes and I am always out bid. I even go over the asking price. The really good homes that are reasonably priced usually have anywhere from 30-40 offers on them . So I am no having much luck right now. I haven't given up yet but sometimes I fell like it . I am even looking at condos . I was against condos cause of the association fees and it just seems like a waste to me . But I have relented and the realtor is taking me condo looking after work today . Wish me luck . Boy I am on a posting roll today .

The Scale

I had to take the scale out of my bathroom cause I was driving myself nuts. When I first bought the scale I didn't know that you were supposed to weight yourself at the same time every day and that time should be in the morning . I also didn't know that clothes can add as much as 5 pounds. I was getting really frustrated cause the number on the scale was not dropping fast enough to suit me. So I have decided to only weigh myself once every two weeks and hopefully I will see a 5-10 pound difference. I just wish the weight was dropping faster. I am too impatient and I want instant results, even though it took me years to get this fat , I want the fat gone sooner than it is leaving.

I took a few pictures of myself at the beginning of the month and took pics of me after my loss and I can't see a difference. I think because I have so much fat that I won't see a difference in myself or my clothes until I have lost at least 40 pounds. I can't tell a difference in my clothes now and I wish I could. I also bought some hand weights yesterday to try and tone my arms. I know that I will need to incorporate some strength training and toning to help with the extra skin I will have. I think I will join a gym at that time as I think a trainer would be better able to help me get firm .

Also I wonder if I will lose my cellulite when I finally reach a significant loss. I hope I do cause I hate the way my thighs look. Oh and my cottage cheese butt too.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

My Food For Sunday

I didn't really work out today. I seem to really slack off over the weekends. I had sloppy Joe's and I was so upset with myself because I am trying to lay off bread. I still stayed within my calories for the day. I am just at 1200 for the entire day. Here is what I had for dinner. 4 ounces of boneless baked pork chops, 1 cup of mashed potatoes( I need the potassium, my water pills is depleting mine) and a whole can of green beans. The potatoes were instant and I added no butter. I really miss bread. I used to buy thick cut french toast bread and spread it with butter and Parmesan cheese and toast it and it was so good. I used to eat four pieces of that at a time. I seem to be obsessed with food and all the food I will no longer let myself have. At this point in time I can't even have the foods I like in moderation. I don't think I can control myself. Dinner was good.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

The beginnings of a new me

I have tried to lose weight many times before. I was never successful. I would try fad diet, diet pills, starvation. All the wrong things including no exercise. Well in August of 2009 I went to the doctor because my feet were swelling . I wanted to rule out a heart condition. Now every time I went to the doctor I always turned my back to the scale and I would tell the nurse to not tell me my weight but to just record it in my chart. But this time I received a print out of my visit and it had my weight. It was a whopping 287 pounds !!!! I knew I was fat but I had no idea just how fat I was. During that visit I also had blood work done. That was when I found out I was pre diabetic and had high cholesterol.

So now I really have to change my eating habits and my lifestyle. It has been hard and I have only been doing it for one month. I love my food. I love to bake and desserts are my favorite thing. I do miss all my fatty fried cheesy foods. I know that I should allow myself a treat every now and then in moderation but right now I can't. I realize that I am an over eater and most likely a food addict. I realize that I use food as a crutch. I snack and munch when I am bored. If I am upset I want something sweet to make me feel good. If I am upset food soothes my soul.

So now I need to find a healthy way to deal with my emotions. I know that this will be a long hard road. 144 pounds is a huge amount of weight to lose and so far I have lost 17 pounds. I had wanted to lose 20 by my birthday in November and I am almost there and it is not yet October.

I struggle to drink my 64 ounces of water a day. I panic if I go over 1200 calories a day and I should be eating 1600. It is funny because before I would have consumed 1600 calories in one meal before my diagnosis. I also started to work out. Every morning I do a one mile walk or I ride my stationary bike. I also am using resistance bands . The weekends are particularly hard cause I find myself really trying to control what I eat . At work it is easier because I can only eat the foods that I have brought from home, but at home I can pretty much eat whatever I want.

I have so many goals that I want to accomplish . I feel like I have already taken steps on a thousand mile journey and that 17 pounds is a start .